Random WTF Lyrics #39

Welcome to Random WTF Lyrics where I make fun of six bad lyrics from six random songs. Let’s get started.

Slippery-Migos ft Gucci Mane

This was a song almost made it to my Worst of 2017 list. Almost.

I heard your bitch she got that water
(Splash, drip, drip, woo, splash)

What is it with these artists and their fetishization of water? Nothing good comes out of that imagery. Maybe Quavo is turned on by chicks peeing in the bed.

Slow Hands-Niall Horan

Slow, slow hands
Like sweat dripping down our dirty laundry

So you’re fucking on top of a pile of dirty laundry. Talk about wallowing in your own filth.

How U Feel-Huncho Jack

Cougar, 45, fuck her ’til she died (it’s lit)

No, actually. It’s not lit. Like, at all. Somebody’s dead. Did you ever picture that situation going down where you fuck somebody until they died? “Aww, yeah, baby. You’re all wet down there. *looks at penis* Wait a minute. This isn’t natural lubricant, THIS IS BLOOD!!”

Me vs Maradona vs Elvis-Brand New

I got desperate desires, and unadmirable plans
My tongue will taste of gin and malicious intent
Bring you back to the bar get you out of the cold
My sober straight face gets you out of your clothes.
And they’re scared that we know all the crimes they’ll commit
Who they’ll kiss before they get home.

RAPIST!! RAPIST!! RAPIST!! RAPIST!! RAPIST!! RAPIST!! RAPIST!! RAPIST!! RAPIST!! RAPIST!! RAPIST!! RAPIST!! RAPIST!! RAPIST!! RAPIST!! RAPIST!! RAPIST!! RAPIST!! RAPIST!! RAPIST!! RAPIST!! RAPIST!! RAPIST!! RAPIST!! RAPIST!! RAPIST!! RAPIST!!

Slob On My Knob-Three 6 Mafia

This song has been stuck in my head for years. Seriously.

Squeeze on my nuts
Lick on my butt

WHOA!! Two things: Don’t squeeze on a dude’s testicles, please? And as for “lick on my butt?” Looks like we got ourselves another Unintentionally Gay Rap Moment. Speaking of Slob On My Knob…

Plain Jane-A$AP Ferg

I fuck yo bitch for the irony

I’m pretty sure that’s not how irony works. See, in order for irony to work, there has to be some contradiction. Where is the irony in having sex with somebody else’s girlfriend? Maybe the irony is in who was going to hit it.

“YOU THOUGHT THE MAN YOUR GIRL WAS GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH WAS YOU, BUT IT WAS ME, DIO!”

So that was Random WTF Lyrics. No bad lyrics are safe.

Peace!!