Welcome to Target Practice where bad popular songs of the past and present get shot. Every once in a while, rap needs some humor. Whether it’d be some funny punchlines or a funny music video, the genre needs some levity. It’s why I’ve attached myself to rappers like Eminem and Ludacris. They don’t take themselves seriously 100% of the time and it feels like they’re having fun. The basic rule of comedy is to be funny and if you’re not funny, then you failed. This brings us to Lil Dicky. I never thought he was funny and I’m not impressed by his rapping. Today’s Target Practice is his big hit and it features the human shit stain himself Chris Brown. Lovely. This is Freaky Friday.
Lil Dicky, ooh
Mustard on the beat, ho
Well, we’re off to a good start. Before I go any further, let me tell you the premise of the song: Lil Dicky and Chris Brown wake up in each other’s bodies. No, not like that. Get your mind out the gutter. No, it’s just like the Freaky Friday movie where they switched bodies, so Lil Dicky’s mind is in Chris Brown’s body and Chris Brown is in Lil Dicky’s body. We start off with Lil Dicky as Chris Brown.
I woke up Chris Breezy, oh my god I’m the man (oh shit)
I’m so fly and I can dance (whoa, whoa shit)
There’s tattoos on my neck (oh, ohhh)
Yeah, you could dance, but being the man? Ehh, no.
I just FaceTimed Kanye (blip, blip)
I told him I’m his biggest fan yeah (yeah)
Can you imagine this situation and what Kanye is thinking?
Kanye: Yo.
Lil Dicky as Chris Brown: YO, MAN!! WASSUP?! I’M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!!
Kanye: You do know we worked together, right? I already know you’re a fan.
Lil Dicky as Chris Brown: Word? We sure did.
Kanye: You alright, Breezy? You’re acting kinda weird.
Lil Dicky as Chris Brown: Yeah, I’m fine. Just feeling swell today.
Kanye: … ‘kay? I gotta go. I’m working on something right now.
Got all these hoes in my DM (yeah, I do)
Holy shit, I got a kid (oh!)
Chris Brown has a kid. I don’t have anything else to add. Just the fact that some chick procreated with this douchebag is kinda sad.
Ohh, I can sing so well
That’s debatable.
Wonder if I can say the n-word (wait for real?)
Wait, can I really say the n-word?
What up, my nigga? (woo)
What up, my nigga? Big ups, my nigga
We up, my nigga, you pussy ass nigga
Man, fuck y’all niggas, ’cause I’m that nigga
Nigga, nigga, nigga, I’m that nigga
“YAY!! I AS A WHITE GUY CAN FINALLY SAY WITHOUT ANY CONSEQUENCES A WORD THAT’S BEEN NEGATIVELY USED AGAINST AFRICAN AMERICANS FOR CENTURIES THAT’S BEEN RE-APPROPRIATED AS A TERM OF ENDEARMENT!! NIGGA, NIGGA, NIGGA, NIGGA, NIGGA!! NIGGAS!!”
I woke up in Chris Brown’s body (oh yeah)
Somehow this shit turned into Freaky Friday
But we got no choice but to turn this bitch sideways (oh yeah, oh yeah)
I can’t believe that its freaky Friday
Yeah it’s Freaky Friday
I’m in Chris Brown’s body
I drive his Ferrari and I’m light-skinned black
I… I got nothing. Let’s just move on to Chris Brown as Lil Dicky.
(Ring ring, what the fuck)
I woke up and I’m Lil Dicky (Lil Dicky)
(Ugh, what the fuck)
This shit is real weak
How his dick staying perched up on his balls like that?
You wake up as somebody else and the first thing you look at is their penis. Are you that insecure about yourself?
Walking down the street and ain’t nobody know my name (whoa)
Ain’t no paparazzi flashing pictures, this is great (whoa)
Ain’t nobody judging ’cause I’m black or my controversial past
I’ma go and see a movie and relax (woo)
Go fuck yourself, Chris Brown. Of all the reasons people hate you, race is the last thing on the list.
Ayy, I’m a Blood but I can finally wear blue (cool)
Dude, you’re a famous R&B/pop singer with millions of dollars and loyal fans, not a gang member. Stop it.
Why his momma calling all the time?
Leave me the fuck alone, bitch
You know? If you take away the body-swapping thing, a white dude cussing out his momma is plausible. Ain’t no way in hell a black dude is getting away with cussing out his mama alive and conscious.
Wait, if I’m in Dicky’s body, Breezy is who?
Hope my daughter’s in school
Fuck, if I was Chris Brown, where would I be?
What would I do?
Well, the obvious answer to the first question is Lil Dicky. And as for your second question? Dude, you’re Chris Brown. How do you not know what YOU would do and where YOU would be? Figure it out, genius.
I woke up in Chris Brown’s body (ohh yeah)
Somehow this shit turned into Freaky Friday
But we got no choice but to turn this bitch sideways (oh yeah, oh yeah)
I can’t believe that it’s Freaky Friday
Yeah it’s Freaky Friday
I’m in Chris Brown’s body
I look at my soft dick with delight, it’s my dream dick
That last line could be misinterpreted so wrongly, it’s kinda funny. After this, we get a back-and-forth between the two.
If I was Lil Dicky in my body, where would I be?
I’m trying to find myself like an introspective monk
It ain’t that deep, bruh.
I’m balling on the court, oh my god I can dunk
Snap a flick of my junk
My dick is trending on Twitter, fuck
Now I’m at the club, I talked my way to getting in
I look up in the VIP, my goodness there I am
I signal to him to let me in but he won’t let me in
Seriously, this is the third and fourth time they mention dicks in this song. What’s with all the penis envy here?
I don’t know who that is
Wait, who the fuck he think he is?
Took a glass bottle, shatter it on the bouncer’s head (woo)
Walked up to that motherfucker
Chris Brown doing something dickish that causes physical harm to someone. Not surprising by this point.
Wait, think it through for a sec
If you hurting me then you only hurting yourself
But wait, I love myself
That was the key, now we’re switching back
Insert masturbation joke here.
Wait what the fuck
And now I’m in Ed Sheeran’s body
It’s way less cool than being Chris Brown was
I’d say it’s way more cool. At least you’ll make better music (even if you have to wave through middle-of-the-road ballads).
What the fuck again?
I’m DJ Khaled, why am I yelling
Because they want you to be quiet and you can’t let they win.
Huh, I’m Kendall Jenner
I got a vagina, I’m gonna explore that right now (woo)
Holy shit, I got a vagina (uh), I’m gonna learn
I’m gonna understand the inner workings of a woman
Uhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmm…………….
I’m pretty sure that’s technically sexual assault.
This song is a freaky fuckfest. What could’ve been just a stupid novelty song exposed itself as something even worse because of its performers. You have Lil Dicky wanting to say nigga and experience being a black man with Chris Brown wanting to take advantage of Dicky being white and not be (deservedly) scrutinized for what he did. But the worst part about this is how much a dick Lil Dicky is, especially in the third verse when he switches bodies with other celebrities and when he winds up with Kendall Jenner, he wants to “explore her vagina.” When Chris friggin’ Brown looks less of a douchebag than you, you done fucked up. When you add that, plus a DJ Mustard beat from 2015, you have a horrible, cringey, unfunny song that fails to be entertaining. You’re better off listening to Weird Al, skip this crap. Next Target Practice, Ted Nugent. Oh, yeah. We’re going there. And next week, look out for both my Top 10 Best & Worst Comic Book Movies and the Top 10 Worst Songs of 1977 list.
Peace!!
SONGS OF THE WEEK
Captain Underpants Theme Song-Weird Al Yankovic
Nerd With An Afro 
This is What I call… THE WORST SONG OF 2018! AKA, THE SECOND WORST SONG I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE!
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The only time I heard about Lil Dicky before Freaky Friday was over a year ago when one of my classmates in my 12th Grade English class did a profile of him and one of his songs for a class project. At the time, I didn’t think much of him since I didn’t expect to see him charting any hits but here we are. Agree with your review. I like comedy in music but in order for it to work the people should sound like they’re having fun and if they’re gonna tackle serious topics do so in a lighthearted way that doesn’t make it uncomfortable for people. The Freaky Friday concept can make for great comedy but Lil Dicky and Chris Brown use it to showcase uncomfortable implications on race and sexual assault. I thought the cameos at the end were hilarious seeing a plethora of 2010s celebrities embarrassing themselves. I found it weird hearing Ed Sheeran sing his name and it would much cooler to be him than Chris Brown even with the dull ballads and pop jams that gets him the most chart success. The fact that Chris Brown is back on a song like this is also really infuriating since I thought we all decided to leave him behind after the Rihanna incident. Overall, I found the song hilariously awful and stupid and I hope we leave these two artists behind quickly after this song fades away. Can’t wait for the worst of 1977 list! Your 70s lists have helped me to explore this decade and understand more of what was popular in the 70s than from what I knew growing up. It has also given me discussions with my parents and relatives who were alive then in how they remember those songs and other music from that time.
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